I'm sorry to say that today was a bad and disappointing day. My sister had to leave for school from today. So I was obviously left back at home alone. I didn't do anything minutely fun or productive and the day ended on another sour note when the NTSE results were out.
I didn't have the roll number and The Hindustan Times was glaring at me with a list of numbers which didn't make sense. But that's only if you didn't give the prestigious/ reputed NTSE. I was saved the trouble of having to go through the torture first- hand by Sakshi, who told me the update of its results.
Honestly, I know ( and was also reminded often) that I didn't work hard or seriously enough for it ( despite a latent pressure of my sister being an NTSE scholar.). And the fruit of my hardly working came today as a failure to clear the first round. Well, I was kind of disappointed and was hoping that a bit of luck would be on my side, just this once.
But it's a pity that if life never confronted you with failures, you would be oblivious of all the hard work one needs, to accomplish something. I always thought that "Hard work is the key to success. " was merely a saying. Something you just wrote on in school essays, without really meaning it ( but simply because the essay is due next Thursday).
I've always banked upon my name ( For the fused bulbs, 'Sobhagya' means 'good luck') and a negligible amount of hard work at the last minute. Well, I have inferred, for the nearly 12th time that hard work pays. Though very often, it's sprinkled with luck and genes to taste.
I know for a fact that only when I desperately, from- my- heart, wanted something, I worked hard for it and I succeeded. But nobody's got ears for my excuses anymore, not again.
Only I know that and only I can change that.
There are friends of mine who worked a gazillion times more than I did, but didn't get through. They simply vowed to work harder next time. I wasn't even comparable that way.
I honestly hope that this failure will smack me on my head and wake me up. Once and for all.
Some might think that I took this NTSE a bit too far, but somethings got to open my eyes before it's too late.
I still have a long way to go and can glimpse a ray of hope.
I hope to attain enlightenment. And soon.
Yours
Still pondering
